Hi, all.

I've been out of the loop here for a while, having recently discovered that the issue that initially brought me here was not as it initially seemed.

Back in 2008, I came to know a woman in Tennessee via a forum dedicated to the former Beatle George Harrison. We became quite close, and she was a significant source of support for me during the time where I was grieving the loss of another friend from that community.

Around the time we first got to know one another, she lost her fiancé to colon cancer, and developed an eating disorder as a result of the emotional trauma.
Every time she was hospitalised, I would receive emails from family members...allegedly keeping me in the loop, but in reality exposing me to a level of detail with which I would never have been comfortable.

This cycle persisted for three years, until I received an email in January 2011 informing me that 'Kim' had died. I was angry and devastated in equal measure. I maintained contact with the family members and friends, because I didn't see any other way.

A couple of years later, Kim's mother offered to send me photographs. I initially said yes, but thought better of it. Late on Christmas Day 2013, I received a number of emails with photographs and YouTube videos that they claimed were Kim.

The YouTube videos didn't add up, being that other people were credited in the descriptions. So, I Googled the photos, and found that they could all be found on other websites, which were nothing to do with anybody by the name of the person with whom I'd been in contact.

Doing more research over the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that this person almost certainly didn't die, and probably didn't exist. The realisation of this has brought me to my knees, and also to my counsellor.

I explained a shortened version after the self-report evaluation section of our first session. Her response was 'And you can't just let this go?'

I wanted to maintain composure, so I didn't discuss it with her then, but I feel as though her comment was dismissive of the complexities of the issue.

Next session Tuesday....we'll see how it goes.