It sounds like you are doing the right thing for you right now which is always the right choice. You know that by reporting him when you don't have the fight or self support in place would be an annihilation on yourself. I know that when you have the resources in you and the support around you can fight this. Right now staying here stuck is familiar and in a way feels safe because you know how to protect yourself. You have a window of tolerance that has helped you survive this awful abuse you have suffered and endured. If you opened that window and you weren't ready god know what could seep through. Can you talk to your t about this and ask her would she report it knowing it would be detrimental to your health? I am sure that if you explain the risks she will collaborate with you on how best to proceed!