Anyone have this problem where they are too nice to others, which causes them to be taken advantage of? I know I have this problem. It is not as bad as it used to be but I am still too nice and care too much. I care too much about how others view me. This causes me to have problems saying no.

I am more assertive about saying no now than I used to be in the past but I still have that problem and even when I do say no, I feel guilty about it afterwards, especially if the person gets mad at me for saying no. In most cases, this involves people who have asked me for money or other favors way too often without reciprocating or repaying, resulting me in putting my foot down.

I don't like being used but sometimes being too nice makes me feel like everyone is out to use me since it has happened way too much in my past experiences. It has gotten to the point where I am afraid to offer things to people even if they promise to repay or reciprocate the favor later. And doing this makes me feel bad.

Anyone know how to not feel as bad for saying no and being more assertive without feeling guilty? I care too much about people. I don't want to come off as uncaring and antisocial, but at the same time, I don't want to be a doormat to people who are more than willing to use me for their personal gain. This goes for listening to other people if they need to talk, but them not wanting to listen to me when I need to talk as well, since that happens a lot too. Any suggestions on how to change this?