Slept 12 hours and woke up feeling like a horse had trampled me all night. The full weight of my pain has returned. No drugs coursing through my veins when I opened up my eyes but it started the moment my feet hit the floor. Like I stepped on a hypodermic needle filled with speed. I have no idea what is going on but the normal 7-8 hour sleep I was getting is a thing of the past. 12 hours means I couldn't possibly still be considered manic. But I'm still feeling like everyone is misunderstanding me. I still think I'm being clear and analytical. Not responding emotionally but with a deeper and better version of me in control of the flow of ideas. My husband seems very sensitive to everything I'm saying these past few days. He's taking everything I say wrong so I fear I'm being unclear since it's happening on PC too. I'm standing up for myself with him though....usually I concede to his view point but I'm rationally stating my case right now.

I talked with my BFF for 8 hours last night. We have opposite opinions on religion and politics and get into some heated debates.....last night we talked for hours about our opinions and formed "The People's Party" which was a collaboration of her values, mine and our shared value system. We delved deep into why we hold the positions we do and found we don't think very different at all. It was so refreshing....we both agreed the Peolles Party is better than the options we currently have. We shared so many DEEP belly laughs, fears, hopes, challenges and successes. It was a conversation and experience I really needed right now and helped ground and remind me that not all people are irrational all of the time....this goes for me and everybody else. It also reminded me that some people just "get me". We met at age 13 and are now in our 40's. Aside from my family, it's my longest standing relationship.

I'm talking a lot...quickly....thinking fast and clear and then not so clear. Nothing dangerous but I do recognize I might be behaving a little strange. I don't think it's bad but if I'm wrong, send me a PM if you feel comfortable. I don't want to seem like a jerk....I'm not a jerk usually. I don't think I'm being one now but based on some people's responses to me...I might be very wrong. (((Hugs)))