I dont know what type of decision youre contemplating but hard decisions require lots of thought so be sure you put in the effort before making the wrong choice....I dont know about your do or your insurance but maybe if you call and let your doc know how badly you feel he/she can find a way to get you in and deal with the insurance later. I have been to my doc like 3 times in the last week on emergency related issues and he told me my bill was all set not to worry about paying him. i realize not everyone is the same but it may be worth the try. Are you on any antidepressants?? my doc gave me provigil to help my really down days along with the AD i was skeptical but tried it and i atleast got my butt out of bed and amounted to something. I really feel for you i know that pain as many of us do. please try to hang in there and see or call the doc. my thoughts are with you .you can pm me anytime,,,,,,Another thing that helps sometimes is walking. i have two dogs that i walk and all of my concentration is on making them happy and not all the bad stuff,,,only problem iguess is getting the energy to get going. good luck to you---jen