Hey, remember me?! Your crazy old drunk aunt?! Scooch up a bit. No, not that much, wassa matter, you forgot the deodorant? So, whatcha wearing? OMG nooooooooo. Not that, you look like a penguin. Ditch the black and white with the coat tails. Lemme take you shopping. C'mon, I know you wanna. Hic. (Stifles burp and tries to push empty gin bottle out of eyeshot). I think you'd better drive. I must have eaten cheese too late last night, I feel a little giddy. Let's go for the drag look. I've always wanted to put make up on a man. First we need to wax everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Yup, that too. Now I'm thinking maybe a gold lame ball gown with slingbacks. And a little itty bitty tiara. Maybe crimp that. Nope, perhaps a wig. A pink one. And some fake nails. A poodle, you need a poodle. To carry in your man bag. With your fan. Wait, where are you going?! Come back, don't run away! Stoooppp