If you CAN go, just do it. The PTSD treatment my insurance provides is group therapy based....I really don't want to go and in the past COULDNT go....but now I can and will. I do see your dilemma and it sucks to be in that situation, but sometimes we must do what we don't want to do. Sometimes we must fight with every cell in our body and force ourselves. I'm sorry you are in such a situation and my heart goes out to you. And something I always forget about when I'm in crisis is calling a crisis line. It's an option too. (((Hugs)))