Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
I think your t feels that the years you spent talking about your termination process, WERE your termination process. He would never leave you hanging. He would always be there for you. Where is your love for him? If you didnt come to love him sometime during those six years, you are not going to start to love him now. So in that way, you are more like a brand new client. You never attached to him. I dont say this to blame you or hurt you, but to try to explain what might be meant by "how it is". He never reached you. You never trusted him - not just this last episode, but over all the six years.
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Well, it sounds like there was a pretty detailed plan for how termination would happen, and that this would be a process rather than an event, and everyone would know when it was beginning. So I don't think he could have believed they had already been in termination. If they weren't both consciously doing the plan, then they weren't terminating.
I also think that if OP had not become attached to this T and had not loved him, this would not be the gigantic trauma that it actually is. I mean, if you haven't attached, you don't care, right?
Perhaps what you were getting at is more like internalization; perhaps OP had not internalized the T's care and compassion that he had previously shown over the 6 years. But I would think that even if a client
had internalized these positive aspects of the relationship, being suddenly and horribly surprised by termination out of nowhere would more or less erase those internalized positive feelings.
ETA: Not trying to "yell" at you unaluna, sorry... I just think that when it comes to T's, a sudden loss of trust, a betrayal or abandonment, can destroy most of the positive feelings from the earlier relationship. Even if OP really did trust him.