I can understand and relate to your need to be held and comforted very much. I used to always fantasize about running around the T's office crying, and then being held. I've never cried in therapy, but my current T allows touch. Six years ago she offered to hold the child part's hand. I never have that fantasy anymore, and I hardly ever ask to hold her hand now. Doing it seemed to fulfill that need.We also hug after each session. I know you don't want your T to touch you, but if done right, with an ethical T, it can help.

What about massage? Or cuddling a baby or small child? You didn't mention having kids. Do have relatives with small children, or friends? Or volunteer where you can hold babies. Just some ideas for getting touched. My T also said to hug myself! Sometimes it works!