@CatLover... I can TOTALLY relate to the self centered person being the mom. I struggled with a wicked step mother for years (hence my codependent behavior).

I'm not sure where you are, but I found Codependents Anonymous to be INCREDIBLY helpful. The funny thing is, I had called so many other people codependent not realizing I wasn't looking in the mirror.

The meetings helped me connect with people like me and I didn't feel judged. I also found a lot of help on the web by googling "am I codependent". Not sure if that helps or not...