Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
It's just a guess, of course, but I'd say your psyche is telling you that you're going to be okay--you've got yourself (an internal good therapist).
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I'd like to think so, but based on how I've been thinking and feeling the last few days since this dream, I think not.
More on that later.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe
Perhaps that you feel safe with your t, and feel like that is a good thing? I love feeling loved and safe and secure. I would just hang on to that feeling as long as I could.
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I don't know that I felt safe with this T though...this was T2 with whom I had a bit of an ambivalent therapy relationship. I have recently realized that the ambivalence wasn't all my "stuff" and T probably had some countertransference going on. This was also the T who rejected me a couple of months back when I inquired about further therapy, despite her leaving the door open so to speak when we terminated at the beginning of the year due to me moving to a different program.
Maybe it's saying I wanted to feel safe with T???
ETA: What I wanted to add was that for the last few days since having this dream, I am obsessing over ex T again.
The googling, the fantasies, repetitively thinking of her, being distracted from the important things I should be focusing my energy on instead. I don't understand the purpose of all this because in reality, I do not want to know her personally as opposed the professional relationship we did have, I do not want to act out the fantasies in real life (in fact some of them actually make me feel sick) and I've noticed I've lost motivation the last few days, struggling to get out of bed in the morning and find the energy for my work, household chores etc.