I have been coming to Psych Central for about a year.

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.

I am really at the end of my rope.

I don't understand why, when I told the psychiatrist my anxiety was at a 10 on a scale of 1-10, he said he would not give me any kind of diagnosis or any medication for anxiety. He told me to change my life and practice new behaviors. He said it was possible for people to completely change their personalities and behaviors. Yeah, I think they are called actors?

My idea now is to just give up on feeling better. It has become practically a full-time job.

I need to find a job, generate income, and possibly move again in 2017. I am a writer and have told myself that the depression has taken away my creativity. I think now I have to just ignore that. I have a book that is halfway to completion. (Nonfiction) -- I stopped working on it when the depression hit. I think I should just go back to it.

My idea now is to just act normal even though I don't feel normal.

I was also training for a half-marathon but have reduced it a bit. I think I will start that up again with weekly goals. When the cold and snow hits I have a nice new gym here at the apartment complex where I moved. I can continue my training there.

Maybe the only progress I have made in the past year is that I am coping a little bit better.

The point is....everything I have tried...has helped a little bit but not a lot.

Thank you for listening. I cannot...and I really mean I cannot...continue on as I am. I need to see progress. I would say this is what in life makes me the most happy. If I feel I am making progress...it motivates me. So I really, really, really need to conjure up some progress.

Any tips would be helpful.

I definitely feel like I am falling through the cracks. I don't have a diagnosis, I am not on medication, and I am not in therapy. At the same time my life seems to have completely fallen apart.

I am going to try to just act normally. Even when I am alone I never ever cry.

I really wonder what would happen if I just spent the next year ignoring the fact that I am anxious and depressed.

I think this will be my last post for awhile.