So first I went in for ADD eval and was dx'd. I did counseling with this guy who i both hated and liked at the same time. When he moved, i was upset and also angry at myself for caring (he was kinda an idiot).
Then a few years later I started counseling with this really old woman (she just looked about 30 years older than she actually was) and I really didn't feel much for her. I ended up hating the therapy and quit.
Moved on to another woman when the panic and flash backs got too bad - and totally totally attached to her. I've got internal kid parts and they just adopted her. I kept thinking this wasn't good for me - i know about the boundaries we all have to set. And i think she would have crossed them if things had gotten bad enough, like if i had been kicked out, she kept telling me she had a room i could be in until I got on my feet - that I was not to live on the street for anything. Some of what she said made some parts really really angry. Long story short we moved on and stopped therapy, but I never actually told her good bye because it would have killed me. I just left it as "I'm done, I need a break." She still checks in on me every now and again. I went on to do therapy with another gal who focused more on DID and when that ended I was really upset (even though i told her i needed closeure, i felt abandoned - how stupid is that?). And now that my dr is having me see this new therapist (and both my former t's know about it), I just don't see myself getting attached to her at all. At least not in the same way. I am bummed out that she didn't have time for me this week and I'm bummed that she didn't call back when i had concerns about self injury at my new job... but just the way she is, I can't really think that I'll attach to her and I thought that was a really good thing because I'm not suppose to. But now I'm seeing all these posts and some books that say it is supposed to happen and is a good thing...?!?! I don't get it.
Kiya