Yes, he started each session from last October with 'Can you tell me how you feel about me hurting you by walking away and leaving you next summer?" or words to that effect. "Let's talk about how much this is hurting you, me leaving you"
He said his supervisor and colleagues said we needed to keep addressing it. I found it a form of torture and said so.

Yes, he held me for four years. Actually that really helped. I have to some extent at last been able to internalise a loving caring feeling inside myself and now can hold myself when distressed. I couldn't before. So please don't let's get into a holding/not holding debate on this thread, as people have very different views and we could get derailed from my thread about abusive and cruel termination - but I just want to say I found the holding helpful.
where the waters get a bit muddy, is that he once kissed me on the top of the head, and several times has reached out and pulled me to him, affectionately - when I didn't ask or want it.
but as he was in a father figure type role to me, father's sometimes do that - I don't think any real harm was done but it does show how tricky the line he was walking, was.
[please, I have had years of experience on forums where the whole things just becomes a heated discussion about holding versus not holding and I am in the pro holding camp - so we could seriously get derailed from topic here. ]

Thank you for your concern, velcro and well spotted. No one else seemed to have picked that up. Which suprised me.

My sleep has begun to change a wee bit. the last two nights have been moving away from such severe insomnia. Still not good sleep but there is a tiny shift in the right direction.

Also, I think the sertraline/zoloft is kicking in too, which is making me feel a sort of happiness which is actually rather nice. I can still fume and rant and feel justifiably angry but actually my mind state is pretty smiley in here over all. Which is much better than anguish and wretchedness and extreme anxiety.

It struck me that in his grief around his very very old Dad dying, he hit the anger stage and threw the anger at me.

thanks all of you for your support and kindness as I go through this hell. I do feel that there are a group of people cheering me on