Well after SOMEWHAT simmering down today, I have decided a totally new approach today...ASSERTION.

I even practiced this with my therapist (using I statements... remaining calm... addressing it privately, etc.)

I understand that if I don't take any type of stand, she will continue to "bully" me. I understand that doing / saying nothing satisfies the bully in her and will only add to tension.

So... after lunch, I am going to take her somewhere that we can talk one on one and give her my spiel...

I wanted to speak with you about the coffee incident yesterday. While I can totally appreciate how important a good cup of coffee is the first thing in the morning, I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed by the way the pot of coffee I made was handled. We work in close quarters and I really want us to be able to get along. So, in the future, if there is an issue with how I've said or done something, I would appreciate if we could discuss the issue privately rather than bringing in other coworkers that aren't involved in the situation. Thanks!

I am prepared for either a good or bad reaction. It is my hope that she will be mature (fat chance of that happening) about it, but I have resolved that I am OK whether she apologizes or not. My goal here is to get my point across in a calm, assertive manner as well as set a boundary that she will not be able to mistreat me.

Either way, I have great leverage in the situation. Should she continue her unacceptable behavior, I can take it to management if needed. Any manager can appreciate that I attempted to handle the situation maturely and the only one that would come out looking silly would be her.

It is a crying shame that I have to even deal with this. The woman is 44 years old!!!!!!