Quote:
Originally Posted by ElsaMars
Have you actually researched this? Known men who have gone through it? Spoken with professionals about it? I never said "all men who watch porn". I made no such claim and feel insulted that someone would think I meant such a think when I clearly never said it. Reading comprehension is not everyone's strong suit and I guess I just need to get used to that sad fact.
|
Reading comprehension has never been a problem for me. Some people do have trouble being clear on what they mean when they write though...
Quote:
|
The porn addiction really warps and deregulates your ability to be turned on.
|
how do you know this? And how have you made any distinctions that state in "some cases" or in x number of cases this is true or wait, you speak as an expert or is this your opinion?
I know when I stated what I did, I qualified it with my own experience as a basis. What is yours?
but anyway to keep this on track,
@OP:
Regardless of whether your porn consumption has affected how you perceive women and/or whether it has affected whether you can be attracted to certain kinds of women or not it's really not an issue. You are not at fault for not being able to be attracted physically to someone. It matters very little whether it's related to porn or not because frankly even if it is, what's done is done. even if you are free from being compelled to look at or watch porn itself, it's likely not going to change your views on what you find attractive. but here is why I say it doesn't matter.
Thing is whether you consumed such material or not, something, somewhere has formed your opinions and preferences in women. If you never had looked at that stuff, who's to say you'd be attracted to her type or not? You would be in the same place as you are right now but without having the idea that you've been "ruined" by porn for lack of a better word.
considering the title "I feel bad about being attracted to other women" it seems to me it's just that you're attracted to other women and not to this woman. you care about her, and for some, that is enough. For some people, it may be ok to care only about the heart and for others physical attraction is important. Frankly in a vast majority of good relationships there has to be some kind of physical attraction for sex to be part of it. But not always, I'm sure. Here is where I would tell you to ask yourself, if what you feel for your partner is enough for you to be happy with her. Is it? It may be, and that is a good thing if so, but only you can answer this.
The reason I tell you to ask yourself is because you sound like you do care for her. More than likely your love can grow for your partner but I can't honestly say if you can grow to be physically attracted to her. In my experience, how I've felt about someone physically never really changed much it has always been one of the things that motivated me to want to get close and be with them and finally love them. But in none of the cases of my relationships did I fall for them first only to find myself physically attracted to them later. This is my experience and for the most part the people I know, that's how it's happened too. So you have to decide now if what you have right now is enough, physically, because it really may not change in that manner.
Hope this helps