Today is one off those days... i started out o.k.... but i had my music and my sketch pad... if i dont have these i start thinking... witch by the way is a bad thing... see my mom started last night with her visiusenesss... she called me a worthless peace of %#@&#!, who's waisting her time on art that will never amount to anything... i know i shouldn't let it get to me... i'm a idiot for letting it... but it has... and the more i think the worse it is... i don't wana have a emo day... my boyfriend doesn't like that... and if i have a emo day then i'll end up hurting myself... stupid i know... my teacher want let me draw or lisson to my music so the thoughts are raceing through my head... sometimes i don't think its worth it... you know living... like every one would be better without me... i can't tell my boyfriend this because i'll get emotional... who wants a emotional girlfriend right!?... it all sound stupid and pointless.... but i hate this feeling... i just end up having a panic attack... and i'm at school so that would be bad... my grades are sliping... i'm just a idiot... if they keep sliping then i loose going to the arts accadomy... witch is one of the most important thing to me... next to my boyfriend... i know i sound so stupid... i'm a %#@&#! idiot!!!

Love,
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