Hello buglady0258: I'm sorry you are in such difficult situation. Unfortunately I don't really have much of anything helpful to offer either. As you well realize, your husband needs professional mental health services... psychiatry & therapy. You cannot cure what is going on with him.

From my perspective, all you can do is protect yourself in whatever way you must. If you're not currently seeing a therapist yourself, you may want to consider doing so as a way of figuring out what you want to do... what you can do. No good will accrue by allowing your husband's illness to drag you down any further than it already has. I wish you both well...