I read this and thought of myself immediately. I know who I am as a person, it's taken me a long time. I applaud you for going do college despite your challenges. I finally at 24 just got my **** together and went back. Never think you're alone, when you feel like you are or get those pain in the *** anxiety attacks, remember there are people who go through **** like this and we have no idea. I don't know what your major is, but I chose to do something in nursing that I have experience with being in mental hospitals. People always give me a negative response when I tell them, but you, myself and the vast majority of the people on this forum wish we had someone who had been through it. You're so young, in 5 years, even if you still struggle you'll have so much power over everything. I'm a recovered bulimic, anorexic, self mutilator, BPD ( which I think can manifest if you overthink it). I have so many symptoms of so many things, I failed a class, life goes on. Just never think you're letting yourself down, try your hardest and be the person you know your family and friends know you can be. It's a very powerful feeling standing in a room and telling everyone everything about you and hearing so much lovely responses, group is incredible, join one. Always remember, everyone deals with this kind of ****, and a lot is in the same classification. When it comes to you thinking you have no friends, no matter how tight your throat might be just answer one question or compliment a girl in class or make a joke, everyone else is just as nervous. One day down the road, you'll openly tell your story and experience and change someones life. I'm only 24 and I already did. That's the motivation. Everyday struggle, but you're never alone. I also have ADHD if you can't tell by this post. Best of luck love bug, I'm rooting for you, hell I wish you were my classmate