I think thats beginning to happen for me now. I feel different and suddenly aware of things I wasn't before. Its hard to put into words exactly, but its things like where I use to worry if T liked me, and is T sitting pitying me.

This transfers into I understand T has a mutual respect for me and T understands some of the pain I have experienced.

Its like before the only way I knew was a very young childs way of looking at the world.

I've even started to want (notice I say want and not quite ready to do) to relate adult to adult with her. Am beginning to want the "real" relationship and able to let go the "mother/child" relationship.

I felt for a while something was missing in T. It wasn't feeling the same. I see now that its my fantasy thinking that is changing. My needs are changing.

I remember T once saying that My need for her will change. I did not believe that AT ALL! I believe that now.