I've been in both situations. I've felt "pitied" and it felt condescending and as if the person was dismissing me and I've also been gang bullied and very grateful for the few people who pitied me (even if it didn't come from a good place). Being pitied might have saved my life once. People need what they need and there shouldn't be any judgement about it within reason. If it's an insatiable need that never gets filled I would seek treatment. (((Hugs to you)))