Sounds rough. I'm an alcoholic & I don't drink anymore. It just became a "thing" for me. I'd get very drunk & do stupid **** I may not remember the next morning. That was just me. Getting my alcoholism under control made **** bearable. That might not make any sense right now, though...I understand. I hope your partner "works" on her/his business. It doesn't sound like you're very happy where you're at. I'm sorry.