It is true. I just hit rock bottom, with so much sadness, and frustration. I hate it when I cannot see the path. However, I never, and I mean never give up. So I am posting and reading here on PC tonight and I feel more balanced.

I am so confused because I don't have a diagnosis, but I get this kind of mixed anxious/depressed state. I mean it seems like maybe a mood disorder. I don't know. Like I said it is new for me to try to contain it without doing crazy crap.

This is what I learned from my DBT workbook...but it is hard to practice. I live alone which is a very unhealthy situation for me. It is probably my main problem, or so I think. After my divorce I remember thinking that living alone was going to do me in more than anything else. So that is my real task here. To stay sane and find a way out of social isolation.

The psychiatrist I saw said that sometimes isolation just happens because of life events. But that it will drive anyone crazy. He suggested I could get out of it without medication, which is what has me peeved. I wanted a benzo script.

But I feel my strength flowing back. I do have a lot of inner strength. I need to learn how to focus and direct, and not be blown away by fear.