Hello

I'm bipolar 1, I to asked questions and wasn't sure which I was, or which I would like to be.... as if its a decision I could make.

My understanding is you fit the bill of 2 then try behave yourself, because 1 could be in the post. bipolar one requires one ore two distinct episodes of mania, hypo or a complete psychotic break.
Ever seen fight club? Well my best mate is the definition of Tyler, everything I wished I could be and do. he had moved away, so hadn't seen him which reinforced my theory. I started to believe that he was my split personality, I asked people what my name was because I didn't know who I was.
I was convinced I was being followed, certain of it! People are out to get me!!!
Even in hospital, I was convinced my pdoc was givin me placebos to try prove I was faking. So I got even more paranoid and his under the bed.
One of my mates called me chicken, so I put my foot down and drove off a small cliff.

It's scary as floofing hell! And when you start coming down or out of it, you get a case of the losers that will make you hide in bed for weeks!

Tell your pdoc everything!!! if your mind is a sieve like mine, little note book!
You have to trust him/her if not find one you can