I guess I avoided talk about my emotion in that last post.

The whole time, I was terrified and trying so hard to get free and save them. I was crying and screaming (and woke up that way once) at him to stop. He just kept going like he didn't hear me or didn't care. My family looked at me the whole time like they were pleading for me to do something, except for when my mom opened her mouth. Her eyes were more like "I love you, I'm sorry." It's so weird and it's so screwed up. At this point. I absolutely can't sleep more than two hours at a time (if that). I can't keep up at this rate.