I would try not to fall into the trap of saying she was terrible or even of saying anything about her changing to be one's friend. The "what about me is terrible. . ." is a double bind; you have to fall into her negative opinion that it is all her fault, that she's terrible, etc. kind of like "have you quit beating your wife yet?" You can't win so I would deflect things back to what she thinks/feels about herself and being with herself, etc.

I'd try to use "I" sentences about myself only, not about her and her behavior, that's her problem :-) "I don't like to talk on the phone very much" (and then get off quickly if she calls, reminding her you don't like talking on the phone and/or you are doing something else at the moment (none of her business what, bad manners to ask and can be deflected if she does make that mistake of demanding to know what) and if she goes on about your not wanting to be with her, she's no good, etc. explain it is not about her, it is about your not liking to talk on the phone, etc. Keep it on what you like/don't like (but not relative to her) so as to encourage her to get her own likes and dislikes instead of honing in on you and yours. "We have to hang out more often" you counter with "I" don't have time, etc. She has to choose to make it about her and what she says/does and there's nothing you can do about that if she does. Not everything is about her is what you want to teach; other people's behavior is not about her, it's about them and what they want. In short, she has to live her own life and if she's doing that "successfully" (has interests of her own) then others will be attracted to her instead of her having to hang on to others. That's the bottom line to dependency. If she wants you to go to the bathroom with her, things like that, you now reply that "I don't have to go right now, sorry." If she takes that wrong, and she might, call her on it! You are allowed to feel like your time is more important that going to the bathroom when you don't have to go!! LOL