Today in session we were talking about the feeling I get when I am around people, it always feels unsafe. T said I was like a scared animal and that I curl up and retreat when I am scared. She asked me if I was scared of her when she came close, I said I was scared of her but I had no reason to be.
When t comes close to me, I actually freeze or go into flight and get away from her. This happens with other people too. It's a real implicit memory that isn't really working anymore.
I am not sure what I can do about this because before I have any idea what is happening my body has already responded by swiftly moving away or freezing. T seen me yesterday in the centre where I work and she came up behind me and said hello. I wasn't expecting her and I froze, I could feel my body sweating and just wanting to run away but I couldn't. She said that I looked terrified. I felt terrified.
Anyway t said that this was really deep important work tonight and to take care this evening but I didn't feel anything in the session or afterwards. I wonder is this another misattunement between us because I feel something is big she usually doesn't