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Originally Posted by lolagrace
Right. That's why I said it could certainly go both ways, and it would make sense that it could possibly be at the same time.
Not sure where the "shaming and discounting" comes in. That didn't seem to be what the OP was talking about in his/her case.
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OP mentioned avoiding certain issues because the therapist "can't handle it" though I don't know how that was manifest in his case.
I know how my co-therapists' neediness was manifest in my case. Whenever I tried to discuss their harmful behavior, they responded with general gaslighting--shaming, deflecting, blaming. That's the frequent strategy of a bully or someone with something to defend.