Down, suddenly. Loneliness closing in. Talked with a friend on Facebook who I've recently reconnected with. She shared with me today that her boyfriend (technically fiancee) will soon be moving back into the state. Until now he's been living several states away. I'm trying to be happy for this friend, but I just can't help being jealous. The fact that her and I have feelings for each other... complicates things.
I know that once he gets here she will want to spend more time with him than me. I feel like I have just now started rebuilding a relationship with this friend, after two and a half years apart, only seen each other in person once since then, and now there will be another person to take up most of her time.

She suggested we can all three get together sometime so that I can meet him, but honestly? I don't want to be the third wheel... again. I had to put up with enough of that with her in school. Guys have always just flocked to her, but they won't even look at me. It's always been that way.

I'm trying not to be a spiteful, jealous b----. I guess I am just sad because I (still) do not have love in my life. I am so lonely.

I don't even want to meet this guy of hers, to be honest. Does that make me a bad friend? I almost want to just up and stop talking to her again, but I love what we have... when it's just her and me.