Thanks ((Perna & Esther))

I have an update.

By this afternoon my mood had become so low and I was feeling really out of control while driving and beginning to feel frightened. Slowly, I began to realize that there was more going on emotionally than just being upset with T. Some %#@&#! was definitely stirred up yesterday.

I got home and called T and left a message for him to call me. He did, of course because I asked him to.

When we spoke I was instantly soothed. I told him that I felt I didn't get what I needed yesterday and that I thought I told him what I needed and he explained that he thought that's what we were doing. We talked through the the miscommunication. I told him I was so upset because he seemed far away yesterday and different.

He said that my calls to him were important because they let him know when our work needs to be redirected or adjusted. He offered me some insight into trauma work. He said I need to continue to mother myself as well as my children. I told him about the cutting last night (they were tiny cuts) and he was concerned and asked several questions about it. He said we need to continue to try to get through some of the difficult work we've been doing even amidst my confusion.

He had to go but told me to call again if I need him and I see him tomorrow.

Still weepy but somewhat better.

My work is so hard right now.