I agree with you in some points, my grandmother for example is very traditional and very religious. She also has her "ideas" of the world in a sometimes distorted way. However, she was never offensive to people with different ideas, and she always taught us to respect others and be tolerant.
That's not what I see on my bf's dad though. Who in the world would be calling "baboons" and "monkeys" to black people in front of a mulato?
As your family, they're also from apartheid, and they keep saying that black people are destroying the world. I confronted my BF on all this, and he only reply was: Well, tell me one country with black men in charge that's successful. They only survive because of the white man. That hurt me, and I got to the conclusion that racism in tattooed in his should. I can't live with somebody that has this option about the world.