I emailed T today with the information that my husband had agreed to come with me for another couples session. T had told me to email or call him and we would check our schedules and find a time. So in the email I asked if he could call me back so we could align our schedules. But he hasn't called and it makes me feel bad. I can't believe this. It's just a simple return call about a schedule and because it hasn't happened yet, I feel ignored and uncared for. Sheesh, I bug myself sometimes. This is why I don't call him more often. Just think how I would feel if it was really about something important. I just need to hold onto how he is when I am with him (his little fantasy comfort scenario: "I am sitting here and my arm is around you") and not start feeling this irrational upwelling of aloneness just because the phone hasn't rung. Yet. Same old, same old.

I also talked with my lawyer today and she agreed my husband and I need another couples session with T so we can move forward more effectively with the divorce. Great.

Then my husband called tonight and asked what is this meeting with T about? I had been vague before, a tune up, I said, to talk about some issues, etc. We've certainly had a lot going on. I didn't want to say "it's about the ring" because then we would get into it on the phone, and I can't handle it. T said save it for therapy, you need me there to help. But I don't want to be deceptive either. Although I'm sure we will talk about other issues. Arrgghh. As you can tell, I'm a disaster at personal relationships.