There was a time,
I am sure, that
nothing bothered me
that I was carefree and
a child so free.

Those times I can't
remember,
they were taken from me
by monsters,
Ones who didn't care,
if I was afraid or scared.

Times aren't so great now,
I feel me slipping away,
was I ever really me,
or was I just someone
I made.

My feelings are so jumbled,
the puzzle won't fit anymore,
I once thought of myself
as a survivor, now I see only
a stupid child.

If I could change it and
go back, would I be able
to stop the monsters
from coming out.
Maybe this is the only
reason I was put here,
to give them someone
to use.

I have been so tired,
I just want to sleep,
it feels like a never ending
nightmare, one that won't
let me escape!

I know I have the tools,
to stop these fears from
coming so hard, but
sometimes the battle is
to heavy to keep on
putting up the fight!

I have lost my safe place
to go to, I can't seem to
find it anymore! That has
also abandoned me, just
one more thing that let go.

The things I do to me,
are just what they did to me,
is it because I want it, or
is it because I don't know
what it is like to live
without it.

I thought I found my soulmate,
but he too has turned away.
Is there anything I can do
right, or am I just a waste of
time.

My kids are my reason,
the only one I have left,
I know they need mom,
so I hold onto what I have left.
But that feeling is slipping,
how could they want me.
I am not a good person, I
must not be!

Will this feeling ever stop,
the one that is so strong,
does it ever get better, the
feelings that I don't belong.

Everyone says I am so
strong, so how come I
can't see that. If I was so
strong, wouldn't I have stopped
it so long ago.

I don't want these feelings
to win, but right now they
are so strong, if I send them
away, will they reappear someday!

Someone please help me,
find me again. If there is someone
worth saving in here, please help me
find her again.