Hello bighit86: I'm sorry I do not really have much in the way of suggestions for you here. From what you wrote, it sounds like your friend is perhaps rethinking her relationship with you. My perspective would be that I think all you can do is wait & see what happens. Perhaps send her an occasional text so she doesn't think you've lost interest. But don't push it. In my opinion that will simply make matters worse. After a period of time has elapsed, if things seem to be going smoothly, then you might try asking her out again & see what happens.

Beyond that, my recommendation is stop drinking entirely. You may or may not be addicted. But you clearly have issues with temper control when you're under the influence. Continuing to drink is only likely to create further problems for you in the future.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!