Hello again tamana: I just finished replying to your other post on this topic. So I have some perspective with regard to what's going on here. My personal opinion is, for what it's worth, that you should stay out of this. If your brother wants to talk with your mother that's up to him. But my recommendation is that you should not be involved. This is not about how you & your mum get along. It is about how your mum is feeling about herself & her life.

As far as what should be addressed is concerned, this is really up to your brother. Since he's coming home, & wants to talk with your mother, he presumably has in mind what he wants to say. However, from my perspective, what should be discussed is how your mum feels about herself & what SHE can do about it... not what you should do about it. From what you've written, it sounds to me as though your mum has a very low self image & is unhappy with her life. She is the only one who can change this, perhaps with the help of your dad & perhaps some outside counseling or therapy of some sort. But, at least in my opinion, this is not your problem. And it's not your responsibility to try to fix it.

Your parents are both adults. They've presumably been adults for many years. (And by the way, I'm a "senior citizen". So I know something about having spent many years as an adult.) This is your parents' responsibility to work through, not yours. And if they cannot, or will not, you cannot make up for that. And neither can your brother, for that matter, although it is certainly nice of him to try to do what he can to get some discussion going. But there again, the discussion needs to be about how your mum is feeling about herself & her life, what she can do about that, & how other family members (most importantly your dad) can support her in her efforts to heal herself. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post. I wish you all well...