I so understand this -- wanting someone -- to be there for me, to care. Living all alone for no one but myself -- that may seem free and nice sometimes but it also sucks -- lonely, self-gratification (of whatever sort) gets old when there's nothing else.

And, yeah, maybe no one, or few people, want to care about me these days because I suck, too, in some or many ways. But somehow . . . it's like a chicken and egg, which came first.

Nevertheless, knowing what you would like, even if it seems unlikely now, is what helped me put one foot in front of the other. What I wanted was a belonging somewhere and for my daughter and me to have some kind of relationship again, and. . .it's getting better but it's taken YEARS. Still, . . . the other options aren't good either.

PC has helped. I feel very close to some people here. I care about them. I feel accepted, mostly. And though I really need in-person contacts, too, PC has still helped a lot.

I look forward to hearing more from you, if you want to write more.