I'm sorry you're going through this.

Did you know that klonopin causes depression and has suicide ideation as a side-effect? I found that out the hard way after it made me so hopelessly depressed that for the first time in my life I was actually plotting how to kill myself. Fortunately I realized something was very wrong and went off it, and my mood returned to normal.

Pdocs are a strange lot. My former Pdoc told me how her husband who was also a Pdoc at the largest medical clinic in the county would become concerned about his patients becoming addicted to klonopin so he's just cut them off causing them to go into withdrawals. Your Pdoc sounds like one of those doctors who over prescribes, and could be raided and shut down for it. A neighbor of mine who is also bipolar but untreated was getting a lot of pain meds from such a doctor until she was arrested.

With depression, you need to understand that just because whatever you're doing isn't working doesn't mean that there aren't treatments that will help you feel happy again. With depression and other mood disorders including anxiety, I personally believe those of us that suffer from them aren't able to produce adequate neurotransmitters to keep our moods stable, and need to take supplements for that. I compare it to an insulin dependent diabetic.

Neurotransmitters are produced from amino acids that can be taken as supplements. I've been using them for over 9 years now, and it's amazing the difference they've made in my life. I ws on meds for bipolar 2 for 13+ years with very, very limited success and more side-effects than I care to mention. About all the meds did was numb me up. Now that I'm taking the amino acids, I'm genuinely happy because my brain is getting the nutrients it needs for me to be happy. It's not a put on a happy face type thing as I've never been good at that--I'm happier than I've been in decades.

Here are a couple of good articles about treating depression with amino acids along with a brain function questionnaire showing the emotions and feelings associated with the different neurotransmitters.

http://drjolee.com/Brain-Function-Questionnaire.pdf

Natural Alternatives To Xanax, Ativan, And Anti-Anxiety Drugs - Reset.me

Natural Nutritional Supplements, Clinical Anxiety and Depression Treatment

Natural Nutritional Supplements, Clinical Anxiety and Depression Treatment