Took pretty much everything except abilify, clozapine and a few. Only ones that came the closest to working on me is olanzapine. Yet it still doesnt reduce my tendency to suspect people at times. I was on a verge of relapse recently when someone from my support chatgroup divulge all the personal things i shared and spread to others, make fun and parody out of it at a popular forum.

From then on i start to keep checking out that forum to see whether there are topics related to what i shared in the chatgroup, and it turns out that even strangers there knows about my personal issues and they are making fun of it. I strongly believe someone from my support chatgroup has been deliberately sabotaging me all along.

Apart from the virtual online world, i also experience real life situations where i was being mocked and ridiculed, like this little kid who happened to walk towards me deliberately acting like she is crying, when in fact i believe she is trying to make me the subject of her parody. I stretched out my legs and attempted to trip her down. But i didnt made enough contact with her legs, so i was very angered, anxious and paranoid

There is also this lady who is trying to contain her laughter behind me while she was texting with someone, i believe its related to me as well, although it could also be something else.

The situation at my workplace also triggered me a few times, whereby i was being mocked and laughed by other staffs for exhibiting socially anxious mannerisms.

I also began to hve flashbacks of the past where my fked up neighbours used to mock me and my family...this could also be happening 1 year after moving out, with funny sounds and laughters starting to be heard.
It was also nearly as bad as in 4 yrs back when all the mental abuses from the public made me plan to murder all the perpertrators.

But in spite of all these, i am still in quite a stable state and just able to function properly.
My pdoc put me on the expensive invega and olanzapine, but i still dont feel any difference from the former. I am now relying on benzos to cope with extreme anxiety and emotions. But i am wondering, why is my diagnosis schizophrenia when almost all the antipsychotics didnt work out?