The retiring manager told me about there being an advocate for me getting the promotion not the AVP. Which is why it has to be one or both of them.

I do think being invited is an opportunity and is a more likely possibility. I'm being invited to meetings with the business and with larger parts of the company. I'm starting to pick up some of the work of the retiring manager, including leading her people. I have also been asked to do some presentations to some important people about our new project. And the VP said she would like her and the AVP to be invited to those. Why, I don't know, but to see how I'm doing is much more likely than anything bad.

I wouldn't think if I were doing a poor job or even just my everyday job, that they would care much about those presentations, nor invite me to the bigger company meetings. That probably is a good sign. I just sometimes feel like there are some political machinations going on and that this is some big plot to make me look stupid to the company so I can fail. But then I can't understand why they would go to that much effort. Why when I ask how I'm doing do they say I'm doing great and I'm important, if they really don't like me or want me to fail. My brain is messed up.

I just have a hard time internalizing the good things, because I focus so much on the negative. And honestly right now, there isn't really any negative. Stress from the project maybe.

I know in the grand scheme, this promotion is not that important. The people I work with have family and friends, we have several holidays coming up and we're in the middle of a very major project. Lots of things to be on people's minds and keeping them busy. But this promotion is EVERYTHING, to me. I wish I could let it go until the decision is made, because right now I'm really struggling with it.

Thanks again hvert! I do appreciate your insight.