Sorry, Valentina, if I blasted this thread with my own frustration with therapy and "expert" authors writing about other people's narcissism.

I just saw the last statement in your second post, and -- trying to be supportive here -- I wonder if you would like my intuition about something which might help if a relationship with the love of your life is still a possibility of sorts? (E.g., he's not dead, happily married, etc.) Won't hurt my feelings (or our "relationship" ;-) ) if you don't want my idea, have tried it already, or know it won't work after I say it.