I am a female and have had confusion about my sexuality for most of my life. I know that I am physically attracted to men because I will check them out. I have definitely felt an attraction to their physicality. I have never physically checked out women. However, I have only ever had crushes on women. It seems to be on an emotional level, if that makes sense. I have never given myself the chance to get to know any man to the point that I develop any real feelings for him. In fact, I have always been in tune to being asked out. I almost always know when it is about to happen. I think I only ever got caught off guard once. Upon being asked out, I run the other direction and cut the person off.
Another part of the issue is my not being comfortable with being female. I have never liked that I was a female. Some of it has to do with the roles women play. Some of it has to do with seeing women as weak. Some of it has to do with the crushes that I have on other women. As you can imagine, this has always been very confusing for me. Can anyone relate? Thank you!