What it means to lose your systems of meaning ...

1. You don't trust anyone or anything - including yourself.

2. You don't believe in anyone or anything - including yourself.

3. Hope & Faith are something that got lost and/or tossed along the way ...

You want these things, but the brutality of all the previous betrayals by your abusers have you hiding like a whipped puppy underneath the porch ...

You want to come out and play ...

To experience what it is like to be touched, held and loved in a nurturing way ...

But, you're just to damned scared to allow yourself the risk of another betrayal by another human being at the expense of your mind, body and soul.