Terry please find the help you need including here. I am sorry that things have piled up on you and you feel there is no alternative. I am sorry about your wife. At some point you need to evaluate the effect on both you and her. You are just as important. Sometimes things just seem to be too hard but you can work throught them. I really am sorry about your pain. I know where you are coming from and how much it hurts and how much it seems that the pain will never end. But it will. Please find some help. Feel free to PM me anytime.

BB