Personal experience time: This sounds like my mom. She lived with it for so long that the thought of being anything else scared the **** out of her. She learned out to cope with it, then live with it, then it became a part of her and (according to her) now it just is her.

My understanding time: Weird right? Wrong. It's not weird, it's not wrong and it's not something that you should feel insane over (though I'd be a hypocrite if I told you to change your train of thought about you're situation). You deal with severe depression long enough, this is what happens. Otherwise, you probably wouldn't be here typing this right now. It's survival. Your brain adapted to it's new "environment" and is now conditioned inside it.
You could realign, you could alter it, you could change it; but as you said: You don't want to. Does a polar bear want to take a trip to the Caribbean?

Conclusion: It's not weird and it's not wrong. It's your way of life. That isn't wrong or right unless you say it is.