You guys, my sister (the one who works with the mentally ill but told me to stay out of the hospital because it looks bad, you know, that one?) has been bugging the H*LL out of me because she wants to do a "family session" with my pdoc and T "so I can support you in the way a family member should."

Well, geeeeezus, I don't want her knowing my stuff! She's 12 years older and was out of the house the whole time I was being abused, so she doesn't know (none of my sibs do) AND I AIN'T TELLIN'. And I don't want my "helpers" to tell her either.

But she's all over my butt because she doesn't understand how going to work for 10 minutes Sunday flipped me out enough to warrant a pdoc giving me a 2-week enforced vacation Monday.

After seeing my T today, who of course knows everything, I got a wild hair and thought maybe my sister would get off my butt if I put things in context for her. So I just sent her an email telling her that I self-injure, and why that got me to the hospital this time.

I am HOPINGHOPINGHOPING I did NOT make a huge mistake. I have no idea how she'll take it. Will it make her want to know more? Will it get her off my ***? I have no idea. I may not find out for a day or two, because she doesn't always check her email every day. I don't know what came over me to spill it to her, and I don't know if I should have, but it's too late now -- Earthlink doesn't have that nifty little feature like AOL does where you can take back unread mail.

I'm not sure why I'm posting about this -- I guess because I'm feeling kind of stupid and unsure of myself and need some reassurance (a hug or two wouldn't hurt, either! )

Will somebody please tell me I wasn't an idiot for doing this?

Candy