Dear Moodswings70, I have felt extremely emotionally close to some of my gfs during my youth. I think it would develop because we thought about things the same way, faced the same challenges and shared many of the same dreams. Sometimes we had the best conversations. There were opportunities for erotic things to happen but we never went there.
What I have always found attractive about men is that many seem to think very differently than I do. They are less moody (noticed your username), especially when they are younger. I like them physically like you do. Holding their strong, firm larger hands. Stretching my arms to wrap them all the way around their broad chests. And men have a way of making me feel safe in a way that no woman has ever been able to do.
You sound like you may simply be young and overthinking things. I hope you have some more experiences (hopefully, some of it will be fun) that will help you figure things out.
Sincerely, Myst