There is a sad story in a song I just listened to ....it goes something like this "I couldn't share the pain and so I suffered". Perhaps you can begin by doing what you've done here....SHARE your pain with others. Sometimes just talking about it helps. The people who love you WANT to help and would be hurt if they knew there was something they could do to help......but they can't help if they don't know. I used to bottle it all up too....it just leaked out in my life and caused bigger problems. Let people help you because you deserve it. It doesn't make you weak to need assistance....it makes you smart for realizing it and brave for asking. (((Hugs)))