I'm completely self-conscious about my looks. I was pretty when I weighed less. I used to do modeling when I was younger. But now, I'm way over-weight. I feel like a disgusting piece of s***. I always worry about if my T notices how ugly I am. I struggle with self-care. But I make sure to always shower for T (wouldn't want to be dirty when she gives me a hug!) I also have skin problems and teeth problems, and never wear make-up. There's also the problem with the couch... It's an old leather couch. I sink back into it, so that when I get up it rocks with me (so embarrassing!) I can barely get out of it.

It was really bad one time. I admitted to my T some of the words I call myself (i.e. whale). She repeated the words back to me. I think it was supposed to feel like it was untrue. Instead, it felt like she was calling me those words. It hurt and felt so uncomfortable.

I just try my best to put the thoughts and feelings out of my head. I try to focus on the topic. Sometimes, the thoughts creep in. So I still struggle with it.