Wow, I am into tattoos, but I would expect my partner to discuss with me before going out and getting one...even if just so I could be there to see it. Getting a tattoo is not like changing your haircut, which I would think you could do without your partner's "approval" but a tattoo is very permanent. It just seems to me like she would've discussed it with you at least. Not to get approval, but at least to let you know it's something she wanted.

About the drinking...if she's just having a few glasses of wine with friends, I'm not sure why she would have to discuss it with you, unless you two have some religious beliefs against drinking (I know some people who do) or if you two absolutely never drink. If having any alcohol at all is something totally new, I would think that's a bit odd.

Have you tried to discuss these changes you have seen in her with her yet? Sometimes you have to sit down and have a point blank honest conversation about how things are different and how that's affecting your relationship. Be respectful, and I think this comes off better if you express it in terms of concern for her and your relationship rather than fear or anger about not being consulted.

Good luck,
seesaw