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He swears he never had any intentions of meeting her, and it was just a physical outlet since he says we don't spend enough time together
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So he sees nothing wrong with what he did, and he is not sorry, apparently, since he had a "physical need". It sounds like he would do it again if he had a "physical need" and he knew he would not get caught. He even told you as much:
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he said he can't promise to change what bothers me.
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When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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but I never guessed he would do something like this, and he knew how it would affect me if I found out, but he went ahead and did it any way.
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He betrayed you.
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we had a traumatic break up/broken engagement
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I'm sorry.
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He was working hard to regain my trust back, and I was cautious.
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From this statement it sounds like he hurt you badly when the engagement was broken. In other words, it sounds like he brought you enormous emotional pain in the past and he brought you enormous emotional pain in the present. What does that say about a future with him?